I have recently come across clients who allow themselves to suffer after a painful event in their lives. Maybe a divorce, or a betrayal by a loved one has occurred. The event may truly be painful but holding on to the anger and hurt can only result in suffering.
Read the following quote from Jack Kornfield’s book The Wise Heart.
“It is like two arrows, The Buddha said. The first arrow is the initial event it’s self, the painful experience. It has happened; we cannot avoid it. The second arrow is the one we shoot into ourselves. This arrow is optional. We can add to the initial pain a contracted, angry, rigid, frightened state of mind. Or we can learn to experience the same painful event with less identification and aversion, with a more relaxed compassionate heart.”
Notice that he says the second arrow is a choice. I encourage you to take a step back and separate the suffering from your pain. Are you continuing to suffer over the past? Do you suffer with hurt, anger, grief, jealously and frustration? Do what you can to restore balance to your life. Stay in the present and allow the past to be. Be mindful.
Forgiveness may be the best solution. Think about it!